I am frequently asked whether I have an explanation for the truly appalling standards of dress exhibited by men (I can hardly call them gentlemen) on the streets of Britain. The slovenly, drab clothes worn by my compatriots – both young and old – cause shame to those of us who remember when the sartorial principles of the British (perhaps I mean English? – but no, the Welsh, the Scottish and the Northern Irish were our equal in this regard) were, to use the cliché (which was a cliché because it was true), the envy of the world.
I can offer the following factors by way of explanation, although (Laus Deo!) I have no expertise in the realm of social “science” (was ever a ‘discipline’ more inappropriately named?). I list them in no order of precedence.
Of course, I will stand accused – in the light of my innocent observations – of partiality and of that most hideous of modern ‘crimes’, elitism. To such critics, I say, “Well done! You have accurately divined my position.” I am, indeed, partial to proper standards of dress – see my Ten Commandments – and I have been taught to aspire to membership of the elite. Those men who do not share my views can continue to throng our pavements in those rags which pass for ‘fashion items’ (if they are expensive) or ‘bargains’ (if they are cheap). The rest of us – few though we be – will continue to attempt to adorn our nation in the formal, the well-cut and the traditional. Whatever our other faults, at least we know what constitutes proper dress for a British gentleman.
